Europe Day 40 of 59, Amsterdam

Can I just say, "Wow"? I mean, day 40. Forty. That feels like a very big number. Amusingly, no only have we been gone for 40 days, but we are away for basically three more weeks, which is longer than most trips we have taken. I'm wrapping my mind around that one, slowly.

Today began the usual way, only it was rainy in Amsterdam and we had an agenda. That agenda was on the filmagenda at the Kriterion Cinema, Brüno. How cool is that term, "filmagenda." Way better than, "schedule."

After some laptop time, we walked just a few blocks to the cinema which happens to be across the street from the Universiteit van Amsterdam. By the way, it is not lost on me that all the Irish whose last names start with an O' and all the Nederlanders (I am banning the word Dutch from the blog, as it should not exist) whose last names start with Van basically have last names that mean, "Of (This Region/City)." Should I change my name to, "Jeff Howard Of Ellay"? Didn't think so.

Walking to movie, I caught this local hoodlum tagging the wall. (It's revealing that Barbie always travels with dental floss and spray paint, no?)

Trained in the USA to prepare for crowded movies, we arrived early, bought our tickets and were then told that they would let us into the theater 5 minutes before showtime. Therefore, we went next door to a very cool café. Therefore, you get no cinema pictures for a bit. Instead, you get scenes from Café De Roeter.

Among the strongest cups of coffee I have ever tasted, and one of the best as well.

I ordered the egg sandwich with ham and cheese.

Barbie ordered the ciabatta tuna sandwich.

I told you this was a hip café across from a university. And you know what? I did feel younger and hipper just sitting among Nederlander university students.

Now, after lunch, you get to see the Filmtheater Kriterion. One might recall the Pulp Fiction scene where Vince Vega talks about ordering a glass of beer at the movies. In this case, the theater itself has a full bar and coffee bar. And without thinking of Pulp Fiction, I ordered a glass of beer.

To enter the Filmtheater Kriterion, you had the option of walking through Brüno's ass. I think we both opted to go around it, which I realize now was a terrible mistake.

Another hip bar filled with hip young people. There were hip movie posters all around, from Hard Day's Night to The Graduate to Annie Hall.

This couple came and sat next to us, each of them with a glass of beer as well. It was then we realized that by seeing the movie in the late afternoon across from the university, we would be watching the movie not with a bunch of Nederlander teens but with a bunch of people like ourselves.

It was very funny. This couple went into the theater before us, and as we were walking to our seats in the row behind them my foot kicked what sounded like a beer bottle and the two of them smiled and laughed quite heartily. We smiled back, and it was a bonding moment. (I picked up the beer glass and walked it to the aisle, setting it along the wall so that it would not spend days getting kicked around under the seats.)

Opening credits shot for a win.

This was not here when we went into the theater, but was here when we exited. They were actually having a fashion show that night where people who dressed up like Brüno got a free beer if they participated in a fashion show. We might have greatly enjoyed that.

Another great smile. For the record, I liked it more than Barbie, as I partially ruined her experience by saying that the unedited version I got to see in April was the funniest movie in history. With the raciest material edited, the movie was not nearly as funny, but it is still worth seeing. Especially if you haven't spent the last three months around people who tell you it is the greatest thing ever.

Back to the hotel for laptop time, and then we headed on the subway up to the center of town, with an agenda to walk De Wallen.

We exited the subway at the Central Station, at magic hour, and I got this pic of it.

Also managed to get a magic hour pic of St. Nicolaas Kerk.

Magic hour shot of Damrak St. I was rushing to take it. Could have been better. Should have.

The previous pic was taken just before stepping into our dinner choice for the evening. We owe this magical moment to the iPhone, as Barbie said, "Would you google McDonald's?" And I did. And there was one just around the corner. Don't judge us. The food is reliable and we didn't want to spend an hour plus eating in a restaurant, as De Wallen awaited.

The back of Oude Kerk, just as magic hour is ending.

You can pretend you didn't know what the previous references to De Wallen meant, but I will share you the first section from Wikipedia's entry for De Wallen: De Wallen is the largest and best-known red-light district in Amsterdam and a major tourist attraction... De Wallen is a network of alleys containing approximately three hundred tiny one-room cabins rented by female prostitutes (and some ladyboys) who offer their services from behind a window or glass door, typically illuminated with red lights.

Also interesting: The red light district has existed since the 14th century and formerly contained many distilleries, mainly catering to sailors. The name Wallen (walls) refers to the medieval retaining dam walls in the old center of Amsterdam.

Another great smile. Everyone on the street is smiling, I swear this is true. Everyone is just jazzed to be there, I think, and see such an open display of what is normally hidden. The current Mayor of Amsterdam is looking to all but eliminate this area. I do not know if I would want it here if I lived here, but as a visitor I see value in it.

The canal running down the center of the Red Light District's main street.

If you hold a camera up to the women who have rented a window for the night, they hide and get furious with you. I took this from a distance for you, the blog reader.

Contrary to what many think, the workers here are not free and independent. They should be, but the pimp phenomenon is alive and well. Which is tragic, and one of the reasons the city is trying to close up these windows. But advocates for the women argue that closing up windows moves these women to the street, where they are victimized even worse by pimps. Complicated stuff. Between you and me, I think the right strategy would be to let this all exist and prosecute the hell out of anyone even suspected of pimping. And, of course, provide resources to any of these women who would like to change her profession.

I felt a need to share this establishment's multi-lingual sign, though I placed black boxes over inappropriate English words. One thing is for certain, the performance inside is understandable in any language.

One of the more famous theaters, Casa Rosso. Barbie believes that this is where she saw a live performance of human reproductive practices 20 years ago. We passed on it and thought we might skip the live entertainment, but then we bumped into two young women from the USA who said the show was fun and often funny, and Barbie decided we might as well try it. I was willing to go either way, honestly, but I am glad I can now check this off the list.

Obviously there was a no camera rule inside, and I was not going to risk getting bounced for the blog. Please accept my artist's rendering of what I saw inside the Casa Rosso.

This is exactly what I saw. Exactly.

One last shot of the Red Light District and its happy-go-lucky crowd.

We walked a block to the official taxi stand, which sits next to this, which I think might be Waag. Can I just say how great it is that not only does the map the hotel gave me have the metro lines, above and below ground, but also markings where official taxi stands can be found? If you have ever needed a taxi in a city you do not know well, then you know how huge it is to look at a map and know that two blocks East is a taxi stand.

And with that, I bid you good night.