Europe Day 31 of 59, Dublin

Barbie woke up before me, which has been happening more often lately, and ordered room service. (Breakfast is complimentary, so why the heck wouldn't she?) Therefore, I awoke to the following.

Eggs Benedict and an Irish Breakfast... split evenly among two plates by yours truly and then, after taking one bite, photographed by yours truly.

In Enniskerry, 40 minutes South of downtown Dublin, there is no problem with the pig meat.

After Breakfast, I checked my laptop and the latest news on Facebook related to the Hollywood premiere of "Bruno." I saw the movie back in April, when I laughed until I soiled not only my pants but the pants of the people next to me. Turns out there was a video of the premiere, so Barbie and I sat on the bed and watched it together.

Barbie's foot, my pajama shorts, and a 9" netbook.

After some high quality laughter we did the math and found that we can see the movie in Amsterdam on July 9, the day before it is released in the USA. Finally, after three long months, I'll no longer have to keep my mouth shut around her about the amazing things that happen in this movie.

The plan today is to wash up and head into Dublin for a Guinness Brewery visit, Jameson Distillery visit, and drunken stumbling around castles and cobble stone streets. Barbie decided to take a bath, and I decided to show off the high tech bathroom that I hinted at yesterday.

There it is, "Mirror Image" by, "ad notam." Someday all hotels will have this, or not. Now, before you think this TV in the bathroom mirror isn't cool, let me show you this:

Get it now? It's not just a square cut out of the center of a mirror for a TV. Okay, it is just that. But the image is right there on the surface of the mirror in the coolest way. It doesn't appear as if it is behind glass, it appears on the surface. And isn't that what really matters in life?

And there you have it, my wife watching TV from the tub with the ad notam remote control. Coolest tub ever.

I cannot resist taking this sort of pic, so do not ask me to resist.

Once we were dressed and ready for the day, we decided to hit the grounds of the hotel before heading to the concierge about our trip into Dublin.

There it is, the gigantic metal paper airplane.

Looks like I am throwing it, no?

I think this pic gives you a better idea of the size of this sucker. Fact: the larger a statue gets, the more likely you are to refer to it as, "sucker."

Another metal sculpture, which is interesting but not at all like the paper airplane. I enjoy these statues a lot, but do they go with this...

How classically beautiful is that hotel? And how do you match these modern, metal scupltures with that white beauty behind the fountain?

The Irish countryside with about as much sunlight shining on it as we've yet seen.

Our suite is at the end of the hall on floor 3, right THERE.

It's no paper airplane, but it's cool. Sort of has the feel of an Olympic logo, no?

This pic is really not good enough for the blog, but I pulled eleven muscles doing that pose and to leave it out would be all pain, no gain.

The hotel lobby, as we are about to learn from the concierge that we spent too much time with the bath tub and statues to bother heading into Dublin today. and instead gives us a nice little plan to drive to Dalkey, a small village on the coast.

One of Dalkey's main streets. By the way, the word on Wikipedia about Dalkey is:

Dalkey (Irish: Deilginis, meaning "Thorn Island") is a town located in Dun Laoghaire-Rathdown County, Ireland. It was founded as a Viking settlement and became an important port during the Middle Ages. According to John Clyn, it was one of the points through which the plague entered Ireland in the mid-14th century.

Population: 8,405

Assuming that the plague issue was no longer relevant, we went directly to the Club Bar as Robby the concierge recommended it for a great pint and bite.

There it is, "The Club."

You have no idea how heartwarming I found this sign. In Barcelona they let people smoke not just in bars but in restaurants. I had to take all sorts of antihistamines just to survive. With this one sheet of paper, Ireland proved itself to be a damn well civilized place.

The place opened for food at 3pm, and we arrived at 3:03pm by coincidence, which explains the emptiness of the room. Men were drinking on the opposite side of the bar where there is no restaurant, but we came to this door first. And we were hungry.

No matter how long it has been since we were in France, there's still an urge to refer to this as, "Le Menu."

Getting into the spirit, Barbie ordered a pear cider. Note that the coaster on the table advertises that exact hard cider. Advertising is particularly effective with my wife. Ask me about the Triscuit sized cheese in Maui sometime.

I, of course, ordered a Guinness. On the cruise, the South African bartenders were impressed that I ordered Guinness... and then served it to me out of a can. This glass represents a proper Guinness from the tap.

My first Guinness in a genuine Irish public house. A pic for the ages.

I ordered the shepherd's pie. Keeping it real, indeed.

Barbie ordered the Cod and Chips. Keeping it real as well.

Many of my British friends go on and on about brown sauce. I have to say, it tasted quite good.

Both the glass and the dish in a joyous state of emptiness.

Across the street, I could not help but notice a legal sports betting establishment. How freaking novel is it to see the word, "Bookmaker," on a legitimate business?

Another street. Can you see the Starbucks on the left and the castle in the distance to the right? No really. But castles and Starbucks go together with ease in our modern world.

There is Dalkey Castle.

Inside, they have one of those Living History shows, where actors pretend to be people from the middle ages talking about their lives. How ridiculously cool would that kitschy show have been?

This establishment did not feature a Living History performance, though it is still noteworthy that a village of 8,405 people gets a Starbucks, no?

Can you believe the luck? We get into our car, ready to head back to the hotel, and before the car is in reverse we get treated to this show? This show! It went on for minutes. Her mother or grandmother, whose walker she is trying to maneuver into the car, looked over at me and shrugged at the amount of ass in the open air before her. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I dare say that no matter how long I live I never expect to see that much buttcrack in public again. Thank you, Dalkey, Ireland.

On the way back, I snapped this one. Along that coast, rich and famous types like Bono and The Edge own homes. Funny how everyone always says, "Bono and the Edge" have homes there. I shall try to someday say, "We saw the wealthy area where rock stars like Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton have homes." Mother of... I just read lower on the Wikipedia page and even there it lists Bono and The Edge as Dalkey residents. Well, to me The Edge is Dave. Not because I know him, but because I think it's incredibly cool that a guy named Dave has tricked the entire world into calling him The Edge, and calling him Dave reminds of his coolness.

A refurbished or perhaps phony castle. I should just lie and say, "This is Bono's house on the Irish coast, swear to God. Saw him pull through the gate in his Bentley."

The monumental tower thingy in the roundabout in the heart of Enniskerry, a few minutes from our hotel. Laundry was dropped off at the laundrette that faces this thing. Enniskerry is only 2,672 people according to Wikipedia, and the laundrette opened today. Today! Yesterday, had we gone looking to do laundry outside the hotel, we'd have to drive 20 minutes to Bray. Today, a local laundrette opened. Destiny, no? Tomorrow I'll aske the lovely young woman at the laundrette for a picture. Maybe I'll even try to explain that she is talking to two North Americans who are spending 59 days in Europe with three small bags each, and that to accomplish this feat one must do laundry along the way, and that her opening a laundrette the day we went looking for one is just astronomically cool.

Back at the hotel, Barbie poses with our rental car.

She is pointing at the letters, DB9, as if you didn't know. Our rental car is the Volvo behind her, as if you didn't know.

Metapic! This is my dinner, tomato basil soup ordered from room service, being consumed while I prepare this blog post on the netbook. See that? That's the beginning of the nightly process, as I drag pics out of the day's folder and into the "Nyet" subfolder. Not sure why I use "Nyet," but I do. And, if you think I had just some soup for dinner because the Guinness and shepherd's pie was enough food to keep me full for 18 hours, you would be correct.

Time for CNN International in bed. There. Now you know my entire nightly routine.