Around The World 2011 Day 20: Luang Prabang, Laos to Bangkok, Thailand

This is it.  We are flying out of Laos this morning, over to Bangkok, where we have a long layover before we head to Rome.  But first... breakfast.

I will miss this breakfast view.  It seems like every place we have stayed for 20 days has had a lovely breakfast view.  Barbie and I have made an effort to fill our walls with artwork that pleases us, but I generally eat breakfast at my computer.  Perhaps I will be a nerd and created a slideshow of Southeast Asian landscapes for my breakfasts.

One thing I have learned traveling around the world, it is important to bring what you have seen home with you.  This is why we have three collage frames in our living room that contain 21 travel pictures each.  (Sure to be updated when we get home from this jaunt.)  And there is always the floating display of random travel photos on the Apple TV that entertains our guests during our casual get togethers.

Enough though about home.  I am sitting in Laos (silent "s") eating a peanut butter and nutella crepe.

The last breakfast in Southeast Asia.  I suspect I will not see dragon fruit, in the bottom left corner, for some time.

The end of a fam is like the end of camp.  Eleven people together all day every day for two weeks, and then everyone goes home.  The four people in this final ride to Bangkok with us -- Dori, Michael, Matthew & Esther --  are probably the four we became closest to on this trip.  We liked everyone, but these four got very close to our hearts.  Seeing them in the van for our final ride to the airport was a joy with that slight aftertaste of sadness.  We are going to miss them, but we are also going to make a serious effort to stay in touch.

This will be my last candid shot of Lao kids.  Maybe I will start shooting pics of American teens when I get home.  That would be quite the Waste post.

We fly yet another airline for the first time.  Let me think; Thai Air, Lao Airlines, and Bangkok Airways.  So far we have not flown an airline this trip that we had flown before.  But that is about to change as we soon leave Asia for Europe.

It is funny to consider that Laos to Thailand is an international flight, considering how close the cultures are and how close Laos came to being a part of Thailand.  Had the French not demanded the territory at the end of World War II, all this might be Thai.  I know the Lao are proud to have their own country, but I also think that they would be living in a democracy had the French not clung to outdated concepts of empire at the end of the war.

This customs/immigration officer was a sweet guy, who came over and goofed around with this little boy.   He gave his arm a boy do you have big muscles squeeze.

Our Bangkok Air plane features a snazzy paintjob.

Bye Bye, Laos.

Hello Thailand.

The front bubble of the 747 makes it both the most distinct and likable aircraft ever made.  How can you not love the 747?

On the bus that takes us from our propeller plane to the terminal.

So... for our 7 hour layover, Barbie recognized that we were on the only Air France flight of the day, which meant that we would have to sit and wait for several hours for the desk to open for us to check-in.  With that in mind, and after seeing the brand new St. Regis Bangkok Hotel a few weeks ago, she decided we would get a room there and use it for the half day we spend in Bangkok.  This also comes with the plus that she gets to see how well the St. Regis might treat her clients.

And since Dori and Michael have a similar layover to ours, they are joining us at the St. Regis.  After hugging Esther and Matthew good-bye, camp lasts a few more hours for Michael, Dori, Barbie and myself.

First St. Regis test, the pick up.  (For the record, I prefer the French pronunciation Sann Resh-ee.)  The St. Regis is supposed to be waiting for us at the gate to fast track us through customs.

The pick up went perfectly.  We were given fast track passes and while all the normal people went toward the normal customs lines...

...we went here.  It turns out that we got the same privileges as flight crews, and walked through customs here, several hundred meters closer to the gate, instantly and without waiting in a line.

There are no sweeter words in an airport than Fast Track.

We felt welcome all right.

Interestingly, this message popped up before any bags were arriving.

And this message popped up just as the first bag arrived.

Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi Airport is easily one of my favorites in the world now.  And personally I think that metal and glass never goes out of fashion, because the glass makes it feel open and when is open space out of style?

The St. Regis uses a Mercedes Mini Van, of course.

You know I love advertising.  And a white iPhone 4 billboard in Bangkok is something I refuse to not share with you.

We have arrived for a very short yet surely sweet stay.

As always, the first thing I do in a hotel room is look out the window.  And then take a picture of what I see.

Our room looks down on the Four Seasons and Bangkok's Sky Train,their super-clean and fast subway two stories above the streets.

Speaking of the Sky Train, we never took it during our four days here.  Now that we are spending a quarter of a day here and on our agenda is getting Barbie a Hard Rock Bangkok shot glass.  The St. Regis concierge suggests the Sky Train is the best way to get there, and off we go.

This elevated train had been around 12 years, and still looks like new.

Well... was I not going to take a picture of this ad?  Ladies, you can now change a pattern attached to your bra to fit your mood!

Barbie was super-impressed at the organized arrows suggesting people allow riders to exit and then board the train on from angles.

Not sure why this Sky Train shot came out turned 90 degrees, but I love the effect.  These train cars are sparkling clean and air conditioned like a refrigerator.

It was not easy finding it, but when we did.  My recommendation to find anything in Bangkok is to give yourself an extra ten minutes, because they name malls and areas that cover a few blocks and tell you that your destination is in, say, Siam Square, which ends up being four square city blocks.

We wasted no time inside.

Note Barbie's reflection in the Hangover 2 ad.  Funny that Hard Rock is pushing the connection, when the kid in the Hard Rock hoodie endures all kinds of abuse in the movie.

She has made it.  We should have come here during our first stay in bangkok, but I missed it on the map when we were very nearby.  This quick stop makes up for the omission.

Barbie orders, as always, the nachos with pulled pork.

I ordered as always the BBQ Cheeseburger.

After three solid weeks of Thai & Lao food, that burger tasted goooooooooooood.

On the way back to the Sky Train, I could not help but see a hint of Blade Runner in the streets.

This street meat picture displayed for the pleasure of our Nate.

Sky Train stations are open and airy and basically awesome.

The turnstile takes your ticket on the way out, which means you do not get the litter of used tickets that plagues many subways/trains.

Back at the St. Regis, I work on the Waste while Barbie gets a mani/pedi.

Again, a hotel room succeeds or fails on whether or not one can lay on the bed and watch the TV without turning one's head.  The St. Regis Bangkok Hotel is a grand success.

Day turned to night while I sat in that room, and everyone took a wonderful shower.

Soon enough, we had to head back to the airport.

The gang says good bye to the St. Regis.   I cannot tell you how many St. Regis employees said, "We hope you stay longer than four hours next time."  I cannot tell you, because I cannot count that high.

Suvarnabhumi Airport, a jewel of air travel. 

The St. Regis had four valets ready with four carts, since there were four guests in the van.  Experience five stars, a real five stars, just once in your life.

I really do like airports, especially when they have style. 

Natalie Portman is apparently the face of Dior over here.  Or should I say Topless Natalie Portman.  This in the country where a man must wear long pants to enter temples.

Our gate is at the end of the line. 

Barbie boards our 777 to Paris, wearing her Colossal Waste shirt!  Mark your calendar.  This date marks the first official appearance of a Colossal Waste shirt on Colossal Waste.

Bye Bye Bangkok.  I fell asleep soon after this Air France flight was in the air.

Unti tomorrow....

Around The World 2011 Day 17: Chiang Mai, Thailand to Luang Prabang, Laos

After sixteen days in Thailand, sixteen days during which I never felt like there was not more to see, it is time to leave.  Today we fly to Laos.  And just wait until the pronunciation police hit that country.  My oh my.

In the meantime, today we have breakfast at the Mandarin Oriental Dhara Dhevi and that means one and only one thing.

Chocolate and banana jam.  Chocolate And Banana Jam.  And look, they set it right next to peanut butter.  I am going to have a field day here, my friends.

Let us be honest.  The fresh honey comb at the J.W. Marriott Phuket was presented more attractively.  Still, you have to give props to nay hotel breakfast buffet that features dripping directly from the honey comb. 

I realized I should go ahead and share a full view of the buffet.  This would be the South side.

This would be the center, where eggs, waffles, and pancakes are made fresh to order.

This would be the North side.

This would be my breakfast.  But wait...

There you have a piece of waffle with peanut butter and chocolate and banana jam.  Foodies... let me tell you.  Take six bananas and crush them.  Then add a dark-not-too-sweet chocolate syrup to them, a thick syrup that stays soft at room temperature.  Once you experiment long enough to have the perfect balance of banana and chocolate in that jam, and you eat that jam on a waffle (perhaps with some peanut butter), you will have in fact tasted the only true proof on Earth of a higher power.

It might be easier to fly to Chiang Mai, Thailand.  But if you do want to test your own banana & chocolate jam creations in Los Angeles, I would be happy to be the taste tester.

On our way to the airport, one last hotel site inspection.  And, this is kind of funny, I cannot name the hotel.  At this point I had checked out mentally as far as hotels went.  I could not look at another hotel room without thinking unfunny sarcastic thoughts inside my head.  So... no hotel name.  Sue me.

When you pass a room number that coincides with the current year, you take that picture.

Hallway or decade?

They sold these in the gift shop.  We plan to put these on bottle of Mexican Coke.

A new bus today.  I suspect the lawyers at Disney would send a letter if only they knew that a bus company in Thailand was stealing their intellectual property.  After boarding the bus, on our way to the airport, there was a funny moment when our guide Noy presented Dori with a repaired sandal.  I noted that I had great admiration for Dori because her joy comes from rescuing an old shoe, not buying a new one.  And I joked that a man often has to pretend to appreciate a woman's new shoes, even when he lacks the ability to appreciate said shoes.

That is when Kelli jumped in and said that she had just bought new shoes that could prove me wrong.  And she did!

Custom brocade Converse All Stars!  Chuck Taylor himself would approve.  And Kelli had proven me wrong.  I did appreciate a woman's new pair of shoes.

You want more prove that Thailand have everything?  On the way to the airport we saw this driving range.  Which leads to the question, "Who can golf when it is 90℉ and 95% humidity?

Chiang Mai International Airport.  Upside down.

A new airline!  Man, we are flying all sorts of airlines for the first time this trip.  By the way, note that this is Loa Airlines.  I will very briefly say this, the name of the country is Lao, and when it became a French colony they spelled it Laos, because in French the S is silent and therefore the French were saying the name correctly, which in English I think you get closest to with Lau.  Then along come the British and Americans who see the French spelling and they say it, Lause.  And, in classic South East Asian style, the people are very accommodating and when they are face to face with an English speaker, they pronounce the S for us so that we do not feel like we said something wrong.

The Southeast Asians are like that woman whose name is Patrice, and she meets a woman who calls her Patricia, and instead of correcting her she lets this woman call her by the wrong name for years, and then, one day, when she calls the mispronouncer on the phone, she says, "Hi, it's Patricia."

Candid, Chiang Mai Airport Security, Thailand.  July 2011.

How brazen is the Burger King owner, placing an ad directly in front of Dairy Queen that his burgers are a mere 3o seconds away.  Is there a Dairy Queen ad in front of Burger King?  (I did not look, but I hope there is one.)

You have to admire spiritual tolerance when you see it.

Michael picked up the best snak of the trip, Seaweed flavored Pringles.  They were great, by the way.  Salty and sweet.

I thought that my Schweppes Lime Soda in Thai looked cool.  Everything looks cool in Thai.  Really.

Jaqueline Onasis never died.  She faked her death, got plastic surgery to look Asian, and moved to Norther Thailand to escape the paparazzi.

Today's plane has a propeller.  Love it.

Good bye, Thailand.

Hello, Laos.  (Silent S.)

Luang Prabang Airport, Laos.  You know that I never posture on the Waste.  When I have a failing, I put it out there.  And here is one.  Luang Prabang is a city that I had never heard of before landing in it.  Seriously.  Total ignorance.  I knew of Laos, and had a good idea where Laos was located.  But Luang Prabang?  I had no clue.  And that threw me, because I had the hardest time all day remember the name of the city I was in.  Yikes!  I needed a t-shirt that read Dumb American in this city.

There sits our ride.  It was a very smooth ride, and even smoother landing.  Even in the rain.

The Lao Airlines magazine had two pages of cartoons in which good Asian people travel around Loas behaving perfectly while two horrible White people travel around Laos violating every custom possible.  It is the funniest comic I have seen since Foreskin Man.

Our hotel's sign, La Residence Phou Vao.  There will be a story in two days about this picture.  I have seen the future.  And mark my words; in a foreign country, always take a picture of the hotel sign when you check into a new hotel.

That is what I call an inviting bedroom.

Soon it was time for the night market, followed by dinne.  Shopping and dinner.  At least I like half of those activities.

Luang Prabang's night market.  Compared to Chiang Mai, which was too crowded and claustrophobic, this market was a pleasure.  And by pleasure, I mean it was tolerable whereas the other was not.

Street meat for Nate!  In this case, you choose your ingredients and then the dude stir fry's it in front of you.  Since fire kills everything, this might be the most hygenic street food I have seen in some time.

The Luang Prabang night market stretching further than the eye can see.

Luang Prabang Street Merchant and Daughter Candid.  July 2011.

Comfort is sexy.

A lighted temple.

After fighting our way through one end of the night market to the other, buying low quality items and losing a high quality item, we escaped from the night market and headed to dinner.

Tonight we dine on traditional Lao fare.  A menu of the set meal was provided; prepare for details.

Tom Hom Prak I Leud; beef leave soup with beef fillet.  (Hey, I reprint the menu even is some words make no sense.)

Chicken skewers (off menu).  Oua Si Kry; steamed pork stuffed lemongrass shoot.

Kai Phen; Luan Prabang River Weeds.  (Tasted great.  Even better than seaweed; even better than seaweed Pringles.)

Laaps Gnoa; minced cooked beef and local herbs in a salad.

Mok Paa; fish and kaffir leave steamed in a banana leave papillotte.

Khao Niao; steamed sticky rice.

Opened up, Mok Paa looks a lot like gefilte fish.  To some, gefilte fish is a Jewish delicacy.  I cannot eat it, and did not.

Table shot; left to right:  Tom, Cynthia, Kelli, Esther, Matther, Greta, Nicole, Dori, Michael, My Empty Chair.  (Barbie is in the ladies room, picking flowers.)

Salad Mac Maille; fresh fruit salad with sechouane pepper syrup and lemongrass.

And after that meal, we went back to the hotel and crashed.  Crashed hard.  Almost as hard an the internet in Laos crashes.  Yes, connectivity is sparse.  You have very slow internet for a few minutes, then nothing, then it comes back. Thusly, the Waste is a few days behind.  The management apologizes for this and hopes to have things up to date soon.

Until tomorrow.