Around The World 2011 Day 17: Chiang Mai, Thailand to Luang Prabang, Laos

After sixteen days in Thailand, sixteen days during which I never felt like there was not more to see, it is time to leave.  Today we fly to Laos.  And just wait until the pronunciation police hit that country.  My oh my.

In the meantime, today we have breakfast at the Mandarin Oriental Dhara Dhevi and that means one and only one thing.

Chocolate and banana jam.  Chocolate And Banana Jam.  And look, they set it right next to peanut butter.  I am going to have a field day here, my friends.

Let us be honest.  The fresh honey comb at the J.W. Marriott Phuket was presented more attractively.  Still, you have to give props to nay hotel breakfast buffet that features dripping directly from the honey comb. 

I realized I should go ahead and share a full view of the buffet.  This would be the South side.

This would be the center, where eggs, waffles, and pancakes are made fresh to order.

This would be the North side.

This would be my breakfast.  But wait...

There you have a piece of waffle with peanut butter and chocolate and banana jam.  Foodies... let me tell you.  Take six bananas and crush them.  Then add a dark-not-too-sweet chocolate syrup to them, a thick syrup that stays soft at room temperature.  Once you experiment long enough to have the perfect balance of banana and chocolate in that jam, and you eat that jam on a waffle (perhaps with some peanut butter), you will have in fact tasted the only true proof on Earth of a higher power.

It might be easier to fly to Chiang Mai, Thailand.  But if you do want to test your own banana & chocolate jam creations in Los Angeles, I would be happy to be the taste tester.

On our way to the airport, one last hotel site inspection.  And, this is kind of funny, I cannot name the hotel.  At this point I had checked out mentally as far as hotels went.  I could not look at another hotel room without thinking unfunny sarcastic thoughts inside my head.  So... no hotel name.  Sue me.

When you pass a room number that coincides with the current year, you take that picture.

Hallway or decade?

They sold these in the gift shop.  We plan to put these on bottle of Mexican Coke.

A new bus today.  I suspect the lawyers at Disney would send a letter if only they knew that a bus company in Thailand was stealing their intellectual property.  After boarding the bus, on our way to the airport, there was a funny moment when our guide Noy presented Dori with a repaired sandal.  I noted that I had great admiration for Dori because her joy comes from rescuing an old shoe, not buying a new one.  And I joked that a man often has to pretend to appreciate a woman's new shoes, even when he lacks the ability to appreciate said shoes.

That is when Kelli jumped in and said that she had just bought new shoes that could prove me wrong.  And she did!

Custom brocade Converse All Stars!  Chuck Taylor himself would approve.  And Kelli had proven me wrong.  I did appreciate a woman's new pair of shoes.

You want more prove that Thailand have everything?  On the way to the airport we saw this driving range.  Which leads to the question, "Who can golf when it is 90℉ and 95% humidity?

Chiang Mai International Airport.  Upside down.

A new airline!  Man, we are flying all sorts of airlines for the first time this trip.  By the way, note that this is Loa Airlines.  I will very briefly say this, the name of the country is Lao, and when it became a French colony they spelled it Laos, because in French the S is silent and therefore the French were saying the name correctly, which in English I think you get closest to with Lau.  Then along come the British and Americans who see the French spelling and they say it, Lause.  And, in classic South East Asian style, the people are very accommodating and when they are face to face with an English speaker, they pronounce the S for us so that we do not feel like we said something wrong.

The Southeast Asians are like that woman whose name is Patrice, and she meets a woman who calls her Patricia, and instead of correcting her she lets this woman call her by the wrong name for years, and then, one day, when she calls the mispronouncer on the phone, she says, "Hi, it's Patricia."

Candid, Chiang Mai Airport Security, Thailand.  July 2011.

How brazen is the Burger King owner, placing an ad directly in front of Dairy Queen that his burgers are a mere 3o seconds away.  Is there a Dairy Queen ad in front of Burger King?  (I did not look, but I hope there is one.)

You have to admire spiritual tolerance when you see it.

Michael picked up the best snak of the trip, Seaweed flavored Pringles.  They were great, by the way.  Salty and sweet.

I thought that my Schweppes Lime Soda in Thai looked cool.  Everything looks cool in Thai.  Really.

Jaqueline Onasis never died.  She faked her death, got plastic surgery to look Asian, and moved to Norther Thailand to escape the paparazzi.

Today's plane has a propeller.  Love it.

Good bye, Thailand.

Hello, Laos.  (Silent S.)

Luang Prabang Airport, Laos.  You know that I never posture on the Waste.  When I have a failing, I put it out there.  And here is one.  Luang Prabang is a city that I had never heard of before landing in it.  Seriously.  Total ignorance.  I knew of Laos, and had a good idea where Laos was located.  But Luang Prabang?  I had no clue.  And that threw me, because I had the hardest time all day remember the name of the city I was in.  Yikes!  I needed a t-shirt that read Dumb American in this city.

There sits our ride.  It was a very smooth ride, and even smoother landing.  Even in the rain.

The Lao Airlines magazine had two pages of cartoons in which good Asian people travel around Loas behaving perfectly while two horrible White people travel around Laos violating every custom possible.  It is the funniest comic I have seen since Foreskin Man.

Our hotel's sign, La Residence Phou Vao.  There will be a story in two days about this picture.  I have seen the future.  And mark my words; in a foreign country, always take a picture of the hotel sign when you check into a new hotel.

That is what I call an inviting bedroom.

Soon it was time for the night market, followed by dinne.  Shopping and dinner.  At least I like half of those activities.

Luang Prabang's night market.  Compared to Chiang Mai, which was too crowded and claustrophobic, this market was a pleasure.  And by pleasure, I mean it was tolerable whereas the other was not.

Street meat for Nate!  In this case, you choose your ingredients and then the dude stir fry's it in front of you.  Since fire kills everything, this might be the most hygenic street food I have seen in some time.

The Luang Prabang night market stretching further than the eye can see.

Luang Prabang Street Merchant and Daughter Candid.  July 2011.

Comfort is sexy.

A lighted temple.

After fighting our way through one end of the night market to the other, buying low quality items and losing a high quality item, we escaped from the night market and headed to dinner.

Tonight we dine on traditional Lao fare.  A menu of the set meal was provided; prepare for details.

Tom Hom Prak I Leud; beef leave soup with beef fillet.  (Hey, I reprint the menu even is some words make no sense.)

Chicken skewers (off menu).  Oua Si Kry; steamed pork stuffed lemongrass shoot.

Kai Phen; Luan Prabang River Weeds.  (Tasted great.  Even better than seaweed; even better than seaweed Pringles.)

Laaps Gnoa; minced cooked beef and local herbs in a salad.

Mok Paa; fish and kaffir leave steamed in a banana leave papillotte.

Khao Niao; steamed sticky rice.

Opened up, Mok Paa looks a lot like gefilte fish.  To some, gefilte fish is a Jewish delicacy.  I cannot eat it, and did not.

Table shot; left to right:  Tom, Cynthia, Kelli, Esther, Matther, Greta, Nicole, Dori, Michael, My Empty Chair.  (Barbie is in the ladies room, picking flowers.)

Salad Mac Maille; fresh fruit salad with sechouane pepper syrup and lemongrass.

And after that meal, we went back to the hotel and crashed.  Crashed hard.  Almost as hard an the internet in Laos crashes.  Yes, connectivity is sparse.  You have very slow internet for a few minutes, then nothing, then it comes back. Thusly, the Waste is a few days behind.  The management apologizes for this and hopes to have things up to date soon.

Until tomorrow.