Around The World 2011 Day 13: Bangkok to Chiang Rai

Had enough of the big city?  My answer would be, "Um..."  The truth is that when visiting any country it is a good idea to visit the both city and the country.  I mean, Rome is an absolute must of musts, but without a visit to Tuscany and a smaller town like Siena, you have not seen Italy.  (Italy's a bad example.  You basically have to go to fifteen cities to truly appreciate that country.)

The point to this introduction is that today we fly from the bustling metropolis of Thailand's capital Bangkok to the northernmost town in the country, Chiang Rai.  And let me tell you this; a driver in Phuket explained to me that Chiang Rai is pronounced Shee-Ahng Rye.  Thais are so eager to please that they will literally mispronounce the city when talking to a Caucasian foreigner, but I have confirmed with several Thais that it is Shee-Ahng Rye.  And you know me.  I will remind you of this a few times to make sure you have it straight.  Just like Phuket is Poo-Kett.

Does that look like dinner?  Did you notice it is dark outside?  This is our 5:15 AM breakfast.  Our flight to Chiang Rai leaves at 8:30 AM, making this official the wicked early day.

Before we leave, I grab a picture of the part of the hotel that is the original The Oriental Hotel.  See how classic it looks?

My hunch is that they added the word Mandarin to Oriental to make the name more acceptable in an age when Oriental is not the preferred term.

Get on the bus.  It is airport time.

If you saw The Hangover Part 2, then this building will look familiar.  If not... a meaningless picture if there ever was one.

On the way out of the airport, I noticed these gold statues along the highway.  I wanted to remember to get their picture on the way back into the airport, and I remembered!  Yay!  But before you go thinking my brain has not degraded with age, know that later this same day I thought I had lost my wallet at one point and then my wedding ring at another.  Two things I have never lost in my entire life, and both were found by Barbie exactly where I would normally put them.  Why am I telling you this?  I should put up a front of excellence, no?

I have this Slow Shutter Cam app, which makes the iPhone mimic a camera with its shutter open.  I wanted to see if I would get a streak of golden statue.  Instead, you see that instead of the streak you would have seen with an open shutter, I got a staggered statue as we raced past it.  A cool effect, even if unintended.

Entering the airport, one gets one last Bangkokian Long Live The King.  Considering he has not left his hospital bed for some time...  I find the sign a little sad.

Suvarnabhumi Airport.  This is one airport that did not go with a name that would be easy for foreigners to pronounce.

I found this hilarious.  A bag with built in wheels alone on a luggage cart.

Self explanatory.

Our destination.

Our ride.

I marvel at modern airports.  They really have figured out that they can cram us together all they want so long as we have a tall roof above us.  Somehow the space over our heads keeps us from going mad.

You do not see this priority scheme in the U.S.A.  Priority For: Monks, The Elderly, The Handicapped, The Pregnant,  The Baby'd.

Cruising along.  This short hour and a half flight tells me that Chiang Rai is the same distance from Bangkok that Salt Lake City is from Los Angeles.

Chiang Rai will be the smallest town that we visit, yet that does not mean the airport lacks a Mercedes showroom or a Dairy Queen.  Seriously.  Do you expect to see a Dairy Queen in a remote, small-ish city in Northern Thailand?  I most definitely did not.

I could not find a Welcome To Chiang Rai sign in the airport.  This is a serious lapse on their behalf.  I had to settle for a sign indicating the airport office as proof of our arrival.

Cynthia greets the bus that will be our ride for our two days in Chiang Rai and then it will carry us to Chiang Mai.  There are bound to be times when I substitute Mai for Rai or Rai for Mai.  I am only human.

This city of 65,000 or so people has a main highway with stores and such along it.  It is definitely a real city.  But get this...

Did you expect to see Amway here?  Dairy Queen and Amway.  I am used to McDonald's and Burger King and Starbucks and such, but Dairy Queen and Amway?  What did Popeye say?  Well blow me down.

On the way to our hotel, we will be visiting a fairly unique Buddhist temple.

Wat Rong Khun is a temple designed by an artist named Chalermchai Kositpipat. Construction began in 1997 and is still going on... and it is not only solid white, which is pretty funky, but he has littered it with Hollywood movie references.

Did you really expect to see the Predator outside a Buddhist and Hindu temple?

So... the temple is white to symbolize purity, while the hands reaching out from the grave and/or hell are silver to symbolize... what?

Proof that we were there.

This picture made the Waste as much for the sky as for the white temple.

Even the pagoda behind the temple is white  By the way, there are mirrors glued to all surfaces, too.

Yours truly with the artist who created this temple.  This temple is disrespectful, bold, irreverent, and ridiculous.   How could you not like it?

Interestingly, the building that houses the toilets is gold.  The temple is white; the toilet is gold.  Interpret that one.

Chiang Rai Motorbike Candid.  July 2011.

I find it fascinating that you basically cannot tell Thai advertising from USA advertising.  One world, people.

Remember the Emerald Buddha made of jade?  Remember how it moved from country to country, and then from city to city within what is today Thailand?

Wat Phra Kaeo in Chiang Rai is reported to be the first temple in Thailand to ever house the Emerald Buddha.  There is also a legend that it was hidden in a pagoda and then an earthquake split open the pagoda to reveal the Emerald Buddha inside.  I think I will classify that story in the myth column.

They have an Emerald Buddha replica sitting in the spot where the real one once sat.  And they let you take pictures here, which means that you get to see what it looks like for yourself!

You also get to see his bhutt.

On the wall is a mural of the Emerald Buddha being transported.  It is alleged to bring good fortune to any kingdom that holds it, which is why king after king took it back to their capital as war treasure whenever possible.

I had to use the rest room.  How do you like the hand washing basin?  Barbie has seen holes in the ground for squatting, but I have not or you would have seen one already.

You cannot beat a golden pagoda.  I love how this one is surrounded by trees.  It makes it look otherworldly.

There is a Buddha Museum here, with Buddha representations from different eras and areas.  I shall share my two favorites.

This standing wooden Buddha had a quality to it that I found more artistic than most.

And this stone carved Buddha also struck me as having particular artistic value.

I also really liked this Ganesha.  Besides the elephant head, he is the Remover of Obstacles and Lord of Beginnings.

This picture of the decal on our bus is specifically included for my friends who are serious fans of 1980's Saturday morning cartoons.  I never saw a single episode of Transformers, but I believe I have friends who felt very strongly about such matters, and I assume said friends would think it is very cool that our bus driver has adorned his vehicle and livelihood with what I am pretty sure is the Deceptacon the Autobot icon.  I apologize if that I got that one wrong, DeStasio Nguyen.

We arrived at the Le Meridien, Chiang Rai.

It is always funny to me to watch the business card dance when the team of travel agents arrive at a hotel.  This trip has made me regret not making up J.E. Howard - Editor, Colossal Waste business cards. Now that the Waste has moved from colossalwaste.blogspot.com to colossalwaste.com, I think I am going to do it.  Heck... the Waste even has a logo now!

Barbie resting with her lemongrass tea at Le Meridien, waiting for the site inspection.  But first, lunch!

Sometimes the bread is worthy of a picture.

Wild mushroom soup.  It was good, but no dairy Barbie got a cream-free version that was basically solid mushroom and it was even better.

Seared chicken breast with roasted pumpin.  The chunks of roasted pumpkin under the chicken was to die for.

For dessert, fruit salpicon and roseseller sherbet.  Nothing beats a desserts of diced up fresh fruit and sherbet.  It tastes great and you get to pretend you have been healthy.

The hotel's general manager gives his little talk before handing the actual tour over to his people.

This entire hotel is buit around two rain trees that are around 135 years old.

After walking around the hotel for an hour, looking at the restaurants, spa, and a variety of rooms, somebody thought it best to lay down on the chaise in the lobby while the travel agents continued on to see more.  In case anyone thinks the work on these trips is not work, I will make you walk around a hotel for an hour on a humid 90℉/32℃ day and see how you like it.

After Le Meridien, we are to be taken to see the hill tribes.  Apparently nearby they have a village where several tribes can be visited.  This includes the long neck tribe.

People working in a rice field.  This is not easy work.

We were greeted by a little black puppy at the hill tribe village.  Too damn cute, she was.

So... the hill tribe people were of various backgrounds, each gathered in their own part of the village.  The village is designed for you to walk a circuit through them, and along this walk you are meant to buy things from them.  It is basically like visiting street vendors in their homes, so that they can sell you things while standing in their living rooms.

Can you tell I did not like it?  As you might recall from my various comments through Europe, I have a difficult time with professional begging.  Whether a beggar is wearing a silver suit with silver makeup on his face and imitating a robot, or playing violin on the street, or blowing massive soap bubbles in a public square, they are still begging.

These hill tribes wanted us to buy stuff, and they would also sing their traditional tribal songs and then ask for donations.  They wear their original tribal garb so that we believe they are the real thing, and then you look behind them and there are men in Nike shorts and Adidas tank tops.  In theory this is no different than buying trinkets in a shop, but the shopkeeper rarely lies to you about who he is to trigger your White guilt and get you to buy a post card.

But the hill tribes do have one angle that is hard to fight.

Their children.  It is alleged that female babies born on a full moon on a Wednesday get the honor of the neck coil that stretches out their neck.  They put the coil on around when the girl is five and she wears an increasingly longer brass coil for the rest of her life.  No, this is not a thousand percent reprehensible like female circumcision.  But there is no way you can look at this and think it is just their way.  Yes, I am judging another culture's custom harshly.  If I heard that they made the practice illegal, or if young women could choose to stretch their necks starting around 16, I would be able to handle this.

Ugh.  Okay.  New topic.

We came prepared... with treats!

And that video sums that up.  Shall we move on?

So... while the people in this village do their best to appear like old school, original flavor hill tribe people, if you look closely you can see their powerlines.

They allow us to see the TV and electricity in the daycare area.  I assume they allow this corner of modernity in the village because people are going to give money at the day care center no matter what.  I mean... children are cute.

 Give.

In that hut, a hill tribe girl taps on her BlackBerry.

Texting on her BlackBerry while our backs are turned?  Hilarious.  I tried to get closer and she hid it from me, but I could still see her Cherry Red BlackBerry sticking out from under her leg.

These people have a right to run their business and make money, and spend that money on smart phones and whatever else they want.  And I have the right to think that the whole hill tribe people sauce that they are selling is little more than an angle to get tourists to spend money.  I cannot explain exactly why I mind being BS'd, but I do.

A hill tribe girl returning from a day at school on her fairly nice, fairly new motorbike.

The fact that they have their own Toyota SUV with their web address on the back is another detail that they do not want you to notice.

Alas, we left the hill tribe village and if I have my way we will not visit another.

Okay.  Time for me to take it down a notch.  If you want the whole story, I literally just buzzed my head and showered, all the while thinking about this Waste post.  And based on the girl returning from school on her scooter and other things I saw, these Hill Tribes are basically an impoverished older generation running a business so that their children and grandchildren can live better lives.  I think most Americans would identify with that.  Allow me to say, again, that I understand why they are running this village that is a slight step away from professionally begging, and even if I do not like it, it is likely the smartest thing for these people to do and the best thing they can do for their children.

Except the long neck girls.  I cannot condone taking a five year old girl and manipulating her body like that.  It would be like giving a five year old a breast enlargement, and you cannot defend that.

These school girls on their way home saw us and gave us peace signs.  One looked at me and I gave her a thumbs up, and she smiled and gave me back a thumbs up.  After the hill tribe experience, receiving a sincere thumbs up from a smiling student was a welcome breath of fresh air.

Our bus wound its way to the Anantara, our accommodations for two nights.

When we arrived we were greeted with the standard cold towels and lemongrass tea, but also with a mango treat.

Barbie getting her mango treat.

In our room, we are greeted by another elephant towel.

Our view of le poole.  After waking up before sunrise, flying across the country of Thailand, getting on a bus and being taken through the heat to white temples and hotel inspections and hill tribe cons,  I need to be in that pool.

Ah.  Honestly, part of me was shocked that we were the only ones who went from bus to pool.  A nice, cool pool refreshes the body far better than a shower.

And when that pool has a massaging bubble deck?  Heavennnn.

After cleaning up and getting ready for dinner, we met in the lobby.  Apparently we are not eating in the hotel, as we climbed into a van not knowing where we were headed.

In case you cannot read their expressions, they say, "Hello, and welcome to the Anantara Hotel and Spa.  We are the hotel's own elephants and we hope that you enjoy your dinner.  Now... give us a banana."

While the elephants were in front of us, these cows were behind us.  They got completely ignored.  When there are elephants around, everything else tends to be ignored.  I think it is part of the whole planet's largest land animal thing.

Barbie again gets different yet slightly better soup due to her no dairy requirement.

Barbie was served Winter Pumpkin Soup.  It was delicious.

I was served the French beef consommé; Clear beef broth French style with tortellini and julienne vegetable.  Good, but the pumpkin soup kicked its bhutt.

Barbie got the Roasted Beef Tenderloin; Slow roasted bacon wrap fillet of beef tenderloin with sautéed skin on potatoes wedge and vegetables accompanied with green pepper corn jus.

I got the Grilled fresh herb rub fillet of salmon fish and black pepper with mashed potatoes, leek served with saffron jus.  (It is easy to tell when I take a picture of the menu, is it not?)

The best was saved for last; Crepe & Berries Ices; Crepe filled with vanilla cream and orange syrupe with berry ice cream.

After dinner came the following surprise...

That might be the nicest way to finish a meal.

Yours truly, trying to upload eighty something pictures for the Waste at dial-up speed.  I literally let it run all night with the MacBook Air on Caffeine.  (Caffeine is a program that when activated keeps your computer from going to sleep.)  This awful internet speed is going to pur the Waste behind a few days.  bear with me, people.

Until tomorrow...