Around The World 2011 Day 35: The Scottish Wedding

Today the Waste takes a turn.  This day, the entire day, is about a wedding.  Getting to and from the wedding; dressing for the wedding; preparing for the wedding; even eating before and after the wedding.

You see, after Barbie set up our travel plans for the summer, she found out that her older sister was going to get married in Scotland.  When Barbie told her sister that we were going to be in Scotland, slight adjustments were made on both sides so that Barbie and I could attend and be the witnesses.  Today is the day for said wedding, which means that we need to leave the rainy capital of Edinburgh and get 90 miles South to Dumfries.

Amusingly, Dumfries is considered South West Scotland.  More accurately, Scotland should be divided into Less North, North, and Northernmost.

But first... breakfast.

We have become spoiled by far too many breakfast buffets this summer.

Edinburgh is raining.  And we need to drive 90 miles / 145 km South to Dumfries for a wedding.  Google gave us one path, but the concierge at the hotel suggested another.  It is going to be a small, country road.  The rental car is being dropped off at the hotel in a few minutes.

Leaving Edinburgh in our rental car.

Proof that Barbie is driving in Scotland.  Note the stores beyond her hands are, right to left, Bank of Scotland and The Scotsman.  We stopped and filled it up with 3/4 of tank of diesel.  The rental car guy told us we did not need that much, but we both agreed that along the remote country roads of Scotland we prefer to not be anywhere near empty.

Driving in the rain and fog.  Beautiful country, for certain, but it would be nicer to drive for two hours through nicer conditions.

One of the many villages we passed through.  What fascinates me is how many of the villages we passed through are common last names in the USA.

Sheep.  We saw many sheep.

I am not going to stand in the rain to show you what our Vauxhall Meriva looks like, but I will show you the picture on the owner's manual which was taken on a much nicer day.

Sheep.  I noticed that the sheep tend to point their butts towards the road.  It is as if they are sending a message.  Next time I am angry, and I want to curse, I will try to remember to shout sheep butt.

One of the bigger villages that we passed through was named Biggar.  This is not a pun.

At long last, we arrived in Dumfries.  I missed the Welcome to Dumfries sign, but it does exist.  Please note:  we drove 90 miles in the rain and it took over two hours.  I am mentioning the rain a lot, I know.  But there is a reason.  Wait and see.

The heart of Dumfries, near the river.  Thanks to the iPhone's GPS, which we used for the entire journey, we made it right to the hotel where Carol and David are staying.

From Carol and David's hotel room, you can see the church where they will wed in a few hours.  Note the lack of a blue sky and the presence of rain clouds.

This hotel/church combination is quite clever.  The reason we are here is that Carol and David wanted to get married on a trip, without the fuss and difficulties that go with planning a wedding.  After ruling out destination weddings such as Maui and the Caribbean, Carol found this beautiful destination in Scotland where they have a lovely medieval church for your wedding, a hotel next door, and every other choice you would like to make.  For example, Carol has chosen to go with a man playing the bag pipes, with a videographer and photographer, but without someone playing the church's pipe organ.  Honestly, looking at that beautiful church I see that they have a brilliant business plan here.

After the drive we were starving, and fortunately they had not eaten.  Instead of heading into town, we hit the hotel's restaurant.

Barbie's fish & chips.  Excellent.

My burger.  A lot less than excellent.  My chips were good, at least.

After this, it was time to prepare for the wedding.  David and I were kicked out of the room so that the Bride and Matron of Honor could get ready, and we were placed in an unused lounge off the hotel's lobby.  David met me yesterday, and today I will be helping him put on his kilt for his wedding.  Yes, kilt.

With this photo, David and I painstakingly made his outfit perfectly match the gentleman on the right side of this guide.  It was kind of fun.  I had never helped a man put on his full Scottish kilt.

The hotel with the church in the distance.  Please note, it is still rainy and cloudy out there.  At this point, David is dressed and ready to go, and I am wearing my sport jacket and slacks.  Time to take my casual clothes and his kilt box back to the room where the women are changing.

And get this.

Literally, as I was walking back from the hotel room to join David in the lounge, a half hour before the wedding... the clouds parted, the sun broke through and blue skies appeared.

When the sun appears, everyone goes outside.  Compare this picture to the previous picture.  Talk about amazing timing, no?  David and Carol are minutes from walking to the church and now, after a full day of rain, their pictures will be taken with late afternoon sunlight.

The time has arrived.  The groom and I walked the 100 yards from the hotel to the church.

David walking towards his wedding.

Now do you get why I harped on the rain?  Look at that sky.

David and the wedding ceremony's musical accompaniment.

I have thus far failed to refer to this church accurately as The Crichton Church.  And once again I say to look at the sky.  It was a dull grey forty-five minutes ago.

I have seen many cathedrals less beautiful than this church, which was built in 1897.

David receiving a brief rehearsal with the minister, whose name is also David.  It was myself and two Davids in that church for around twenty minutes as we waited for the ladies.

I took this shot to show that this church was founded by by James and Elizabeth Crichton in 1897.  I was taking shots all over the church, with my iPhone and a camera that Carol had given to me.  I said to the minister casually, "This is the bride's camera.  She asked me to take pictures for her."  This is when the Minister started in on me that it is against the law for me, as an official witness, to take pictures during the ceremony.  He said that there had been a situation when there was a controversy after a wedding ceremony, and when the registrar brought in a witness to hear his account, the man had been so busy taking pictures that he recalled nothing of the ceremony.  And that is why witnesses are not allowed to take pictures.

Now, this was unwelcome news.  Obviously I wanted nothing more than to take many, many pictures for this Bride and Groom.  But the law is the law, and I am not willing to mess up my official role as one of the two witnesses required by law to make this marriage official.

However...

While Barbie and Carol were coming down the aisle, I ascertained that this was not yet the wedding ceremony, and the iPhone slowly came out of my pocket and with it against my leg where mister-priest-guy could not see, I snapped a few photographs of the procession.

Not that this skill is all that hard to master, but if you look at the above picture I think it is safe to say that I have gotten pretty good at aiming that iPhone without looking at its screen.

And with that we were part of a wedding.  Barbie and I were witnesses, and we were even referred to as the Matron of Honor and Best Man.  How cool is that?  After the ceremony, I literally said to the minister, "I can start taking pictures now, yes?"  He gave me the okay.

Barbie signing the paperwork that makes this thing legal in Scotland and the USA.

Wait!  I forgot a story that I want to tell.  During the ceremony, the videographer stood his camera on its monopod and started shooting.  I think you know that I know a thing or two about cinematography, and I could tell that this madman was framing his shot with the minister on one side, the couple on the other, and yours truly in the center.  And he did not pan over to the couple!  Well... the last thing I wanted them to see when they watch their wedding video is me standing there, looking like a man standing in a church quietly, in the center of the screen.  I took a sidestep to the right, and a sidestep to the right, and a sidestep to the right, until I could see that I was behind the minister and out of the frame.  I suspect the part of the wedding video where you see me sneak out of the frame is hilarious.  Hopefully I will be able to get it and share it with YOU.

After I signed the paperwork, the official photographer started taking pictures of the newlyweds in various parts of the church.  I rushed outside to take more pictures of the church in the beautiful sunlight, and I was ready for them all as they exited.

David and Carol emerging from the church as Husband and Wife.

The videographer and bagpiper greeting them outside.

Barbie emerging from the church.

The witnesses and the Crichton Church.

Photographer and videographer, posing the couple with the church in the background.  Nice men, but I suspect they are amateurs a few notches lower on the photography/videography flagpole than myself.

This is supposed to be my Well well what is going on over there look.  It looks more like I have something in my eye, I know.

A great shot, where you can see the Newlyweds looking into each other's eyes as the local boys do their jobs.

One of the options Carol had chosen was the ride in the classic car.  It picked her up from the hotel and brought her to the church, and now it will take them back.

I asked the driver about the year and make of the car, so that I could share it with YOU.  It turns out that it is new.  There is a company in England that makes faux vintage cars for the sole purpose of carting around people on their wedding day.

This is brilliant.  This community had this beautiful old church that was in disrepair.  They repaired it and built a hotel next to it, and started marketing it for weddings.  One person in town bought a good Nikon, another bought a video camera, and another bought a faux classic car, and before you know it they can offer a full wedding package where the bride and groom just have to show up and every detail is handled for them.  Genius!

After the ceremony, the four of us went for dinner.  And since our Vauxhall was far too small for the four of us, we needed to go in the car that Carol and David had rented.

Which meant...

The bride driving to dinner.  How fantastic does that look?

I was using the iPhone to guide us through dinner, and at this point it had been around ten hours since we had left our hotel.  I got the warning that I had 20% of my battery left, and Barbie and I need to navigate our way back.  Gulp.

The River Nith runs through Dumfries.  Is it me or is River Nith a name out of a Monty Python movie?

The Newlyweds walking to their first meal as husband and wife.  I figure that this was the equivalent of their walking into their reception, and took five pictures in a row.  The next day I realized that this would make a great animation.  More luck.

We sat down to eat when I realized that we were sitting in Casa Mia.  I went outside to take a picture of this restaurant solely to honor one Mia Banducci,  (Hi Mia and Nate!)

A wedding toast.

Time for dinner.

Barbie started with the scallops.  Excellent.

I started with the Parma Ham, melon and figs.  Excellent.

To cleanse the pallet between courses, they gave us lemon sorbet with a balsamic reduction.  Casa Mia has impressed us beyond belief.

The lamb shank with fettucine.  Excellent again.  Our meal impressed us to the point that Barbie asked where the chef came from, because so much of it had a continental feel.  Sure enough, they told her that the chef had come from France.  Does Barbie know her European food or what?

For dessert, we had what might be the world's most special wedding cake.  You see, Carol went ahead and bought her favorite cake in Virginia and brought it on the plane.  It made it through several flights, one flight even riding in the cockpit.  Well... I did not bother sharing this but yesterday at London City Airport, the security people did the unthinkable.  Moments after Carol had told them that there was a wedding cake in the insulated bag she had placed on the conveyor to the x-ray machine, they turn the bag on its side and... frosting smeared everywhere.

Fortunately for Carol, her sister Barbie was staying at The Balmoral and knows how to get things done.  At the airport Barbie emailed her contact at this Rocco Forte hotel to ask if there was someone there who could repair the cake.  When we checked in, this person greeted us and came and took the cake, assuring Barbie that she would take care of it and have it for us in the morning.  And this morning they delivered the cake looking better than before.

As people often say, true story.  And one that the Rocco Forte collection should use in their promotional materials.

And now, I present to you The Cake That Crossed The Atlantic To Be Tipped Over In London, Repaired In Edinburgh, And Brought By Sister To A Wedding In Dumfries, Scotland.

David prepared to cut this rather large and beautiful cake.

Look at that frosting.  It was all done by The Balmoral's pastry chef last night as a courtesy to a guest.  Beautiful work!

And now I share that I took the two above pictures from perspectives to make this wedding cake look large.  How do you think a wedding cake was brought across the Atlantic as carry on?

The Little Cake That Could.

And by the way, this cake was delicious.  White with chocolate filling between layers, covered in the newly applied frosting that matched the cake's flavor perfectly. Super yummy.

How often do you get to see a bride putting the un-eaten half of her wedding cake back into the cooler that she had used to transport said cake from the USA to Scotland?  I dare say that you get to see or hear of this occurrence once in your lifetime.

And with that, the sun was going down and Barbie had wanted to get back on that awful road before dark.  And as we passed Lockeribie, the iPhone let me know its battery was down to ten percent.

The Scottish countryside near sunset.

We did not make it back before dark, and the drive through the narrow, winding road was not what one would call pleasant.  And I kept hoping we would not need the iPhone's GPS, but as we reached the outskirts of Edinburgh it was clear that we needed to know how to reach the hotel.  I kept looking at the battery indicator, and I had never seen it be such a narrow sliver of red.

I was able to guide Barbie through the streets of Edinburgh, and when we turned onto the street that lead to our hotel, the iPhone shut off.  I could lierally see The Balmoral in the distance as the map screen in my hand turned to black.  It was magical, I tell you.

I do not mean to be too blasphemous, but this is the sort of story that a few thousand years ago would be told over and over again, until people were saying that my iPhone's battery miraculously lasted ten times longer than it ever had before, and guided us through a death defying maze to safety by the grace of a loving and supreme battery deity.

All in all it was a twelve hour day for us and we were exhausted, and that is when Barbie had to start working.  See, you think this travel is all fun and games but every day involves work, no matter what else is going on.

Late that night we started watching our Slingbox, but we soon fell to sleep.

Until tomorrow.