Around The World 2011 Day 20: Luang Prabang, Laos to Bangkok, Thailand

This is it.  We are flying out of Laos this morning, over to Bangkok, where we have a long layover before we head to Rome.  But first... breakfast.

I will miss this breakfast view.  It seems like every place we have stayed for 20 days has had a lovely breakfast view.  Barbie and I have made an effort to fill our walls with artwork that pleases us, but I generally eat breakfast at my computer.  Perhaps I will be a nerd and created a slideshow of Southeast Asian landscapes for my breakfasts.

One thing I have learned traveling around the world, it is important to bring what you have seen home with you.  This is why we have three collage frames in our living room that contain 21 travel pictures each.  (Sure to be updated when we get home from this jaunt.)  And there is always the floating display of random travel photos on the Apple TV that entertains our guests during our casual get togethers.

Enough though about home.  I am sitting in Laos (silent "s") eating a peanut butter and nutella crepe.

The last breakfast in Southeast Asia.  I suspect I will not see dragon fruit, in the bottom left corner, for some time.

The end of a fam is like the end of camp.  Eleven people together all day every day for two weeks, and then everyone goes home.  The four people in this final ride to Bangkok with us -- Dori, Michael, Matthew & Esther --  are probably the four we became closest to on this trip.  We liked everyone, but these four got very close to our hearts.  Seeing them in the van for our final ride to the airport was a joy with that slight aftertaste of sadness.  We are going to miss them, but we are also going to make a serious effort to stay in touch.

This will be my last candid shot of Lao kids.  Maybe I will start shooting pics of American teens when I get home.  That would be quite the Waste post.

We fly yet another airline for the first time.  Let me think; Thai Air, Lao Airlines, and Bangkok Airways.  So far we have not flown an airline this trip that we had flown before.  But that is about to change as we soon leave Asia for Europe.

It is funny to consider that Laos to Thailand is an international flight, considering how close the cultures are and how close Laos came to being a part of Thailand.  Had the French not demanded the territory at the end of World War II, all this might be Thai.  I know the Lao are proud to have their own country, but I also think that they would be living in a democracy had the French not clung to outdated concepts of empire at the end of the war.

This customs/immigration officer was a sweet guy, who came over and goofed around with this little boy.   He gave his arm a boy do you have big muscles squeeze.

Our Bangkok Air plane features a snazzy paintjob.

Bye Bye, Laos.

Hello Thailand.

The front bubble of the 747 makes it both the most distinct and likable aircraft ever made.  How can you not love the 747?

On the bus that takes us from our propeller plane to the terminal.

So... for our 7 hour layover, Barbie recognized that we were on the only Air France flight of the day, which meant that we would have to sit and wait for several hours for the desk to open for us to check-in.  With that in mind, and after seeing the brand new St. Regis Bangkok Hotel a few weeks ago, she decided we would get a room there and use it for the half day we spend in Bangkok.  This also comes with the plus that she gets to see how well the St. Regis might treat her clients.

And since Dori and Michael have a similar layover to ours, they are joining us at the St. Regis.  After hugging Esther and Matthew good-bye, camp lasts a few more hours for Michael, Dori, Barbie and myself.

First St. Regis test, the pick up.  (For the record, I prefer the French pronunciation Sann Resh-ee.)  The St. Regis is supposed to be waiting for us at the gate to fast track us through customs.

The pick up went perfectly.  We were given fast track passes and while all the normal people went toward the normal customs lines...

...we went here.  It turns out that we got the same privileges as flight crews, and walked through customs here, several hundred meters closer to the gate, instantly and without waiting in a line.

There are no sweeter words in an airport than Fast Track.

We felt welcome all right.

Interestingly, this message popped up before any bags were arriving.

And this message popped up just as the first bag arrived.

Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi Airport is easily one of my favorites in the world now.  And personally I think that metal and glass never goes out of fashion, because the glass makes it feel open and when is open space out of style?

The St. Regis uses a Mercedes Mini Van, of course.

You know I love advertising.  And a white iPhone 4 billboard in Bangkok is something I refuse to not share with you.

We have arrived for a very short yet surely sweet stay.

As always, the first thing I do in a hotel room is look out the window.  And then take a picture of what I see.

Our room looks down on the Four Seasons and Bangkok's Sky Train,their super-clean and fast subway two stories above the streets.

Speaking of the Sky Train, we never took it during our four days here.  Now that we are spending a quarter of a day here and on our agenda is getting Barbie a Hard Rock Bangkok shot glass.  The St. Regis concierge suggests the Sky Train is the best way to get there, and off we go.

This elevated train had been around 12 years, and still looks like new.

Well... was I not going to take a picture of this ad?  Ladies, you can now change a pattern attached to your bra to fit your mood!

Barbie was super-impressed at the organized arrows suggesting people allow riders to exit and then board the train on from angles.

Not sure why this Sky Train shot came out turned 90 degrees, but I love the effect.  These train cars are sparkling clean and air conditioned like a refrigerator.

It was not easy finding it, but when we did.  My recommendation to find anything in Bangkok is to give yourself an extra ten minutes, because they name malls and areas that cover a few blocks and tell you that your destination is in, say, Siam Square, which ends up being four square city blocks.

We wasted no time inside.

Note Barbie's reflection in the Hangover 2 ad.  Funny that Hard Rock is pushing the connection, when the kid in the Hard Rock hoodie endures all kinds of abuse in the movie.

She has made it.  We should have come here during our first stay in bangkok, but I missed it on the map when we were very nearby.  This quick stop makes up for the omission.

Barbie orders, as always, the nachos with pulled pork.

I ordered as always the BBQ Cheeseburger.

After three solid weeks of Thai & Lao food, that burger tasted goooooooooooood.

On the way back to the Sky Train, I could not help but see a hint of Blade Runner in the streets.

This street meat picture displayed for the pleasure of our Nate.

Sky Train stations are open and airy and basically awesome.

The turnstile takes your ticket on the way out, which means you do not get the litter of used tickets that plagues many subways/trains.

Back at the St. Regis, I work on the Waste while Barbie gets a mani/pedi.

Again, a hotel room succeeds or fails on whether or not one can lay on the bed and watch the TV without turning one's head.  The St. Regis Bangkok Hotel is a grand success.

Day turned to night while I sat in that room, and everyone took a wonderful shower.

Soon enough, we had to head back to the airport.

The gang says good bye to the St. Regis.   I cannot tell you how many St. Regis employees said, "We hope you stay longer than four hours next time."  I cannot tell you, because I cannot count that high.

Suvarnabhumi Airport, a jewel of air travel. 

The St. Regis had four valets ready with four carts, since there were four guests in the van.  Experience five stars, a real five stars, just once in your life.

I really do like airports, especially when they have style. 

Natalie Portman is apparently the face of Dior over here.  Or should I say Topless Natalie Portman.  This in the country where a man must wear long pants to enter temples.

Our gate is at the end of the line. 

Barbie boards our 777 to Paris, wearing her Colossal Waste shirt!  Mark your calendar.  This date marks the first official appearance of a Colossal Waste shirt on Colossal Waste.

Bye Bye Bangkok.  I fell asleep soon after this Air France flight was in the air.

Unti tomorrow....

Around The World 2011 Day 13: Bangkok to Chiang Rai

Had enough of the big city?  My answer would be, "Um..."  The truth is that when visiting any country it is a good idea to visit the both city and the country.  I mean, Rome is an absolute must of musts, but without a visit to Tuscany and a smaller town like Siena, you have not seen Italy.  (Italy's a bad example.  You basically have to go to fifteen cities to truly appreciate that country.)

The point to this introduction is that today we fly from the bustling metropolis of Thailand's capital Bangkok to the northernmost town in the country, Chiang Rai.  And let me tell you this; a driver in Phuket explained to me that Chiang Rai is pronounced Shee-Ahng Rye.  Thais are so eager to please that they will literally mispronounce the city when talking to a Caucasian foreigner, but I have confirmed with several Thais that it is Shee-Ahng Rye.  And you know me.  I will remind you of this a few times to make sure you have it straight.  Just like Phuket is Poo-Kett.

Does that look like dinner?  Did you notice it is dark outside?  This is our 5:15 AM breakfast.  Our flight to Chiang Rai leaves at 8:30 AM, making this official the wicked early day.

Before we leave, I grab a picture of the part of the hotel that is the original The Oriental Hotel.  See how classic it looks?

My hunch is that they added the word Mandarin to Oriental to make the name more acceptable in an age when Oriental is not the preferred term.

Get on the bus.  It is airport time.

If you saw The Hangover Part 2, then this building will look familiar.  If not... a meaningless picture if there ever was one.

On the way out of the airport, I noticed these gold statues along the highway.  I wanted to remember to get their picture on the way back into the airport, and I remembered!  Yay!  But before you go thinking my brain has not degraded with age, know that later this same day I thought I had lost my wallet at one point and then my wedding ring at another.  Two things I have never lost in my entire life, and both were found by Barbie exactly where I would normally put them.  Why am I telling you this?  I should put up a front of excellence, no?

I have this Slow Shutter Cam app, which makes the iPhone mimic a camera with its shutter open.  I wanted to see if I would get a streak of golden statue.  Instead, you see that instead of the streak you would have seen with an open shutter, I got a staggered statue as we raced past it.  A cool effect, even if unintended.

Entering the airport, one gets one last Bangkokian Long Live The King.  Considering he has not left his hospital bed for some time...  I find the sign a little sad.

Suvarnabhumi Airport.  This is one airport that did not go with a name that would be easy for foreigners to pronounce.

I found this hilarious.  A bag with built in wheels alone on a luggage cart.

Self explanatory.

Our destination.

Our ride.

I marvel at modern airports.  They really have figured out that they can cram us together all they want so long as we have a tall roof above us.  Somehow the space over our heads keeps us from going mad.

You do not see this priority scheme in the U.S.A.  Priority For: Monks, The Elderly, The Handicapped, The Pregnant,  The Baby'd.

Cruising along.  This short hour and a half flight tells me that Chiang Rai is the same distance from Bangkok that Salt Lake City is from Los Angeles.

Chiang Rai will be the smallest town that we visit, yet that does not mean the airport lacks a Mercedes showroom or a Dairy Queen.  Seriously.  Do you expect to see a Dairy Queen in a remote, small-ish city in Northern Thailand?  I most definitely did not.

I could not find a Welcome To Chiang Rai sign in the airport.  This is a serious lapse on their behalf.  I had to settle for a sign indicating the airport office as proof of our arrival.

Cynthia greets the bus that will be our ride for our two days in Chiang Rai and then it will carry us to Chiang Mai.  There are bound to be times when I substitute Mai for Rai or Rai for Mai.  I am only human.

This city of 65,000 or so people has a main highway with stores and such along it.  It is definitely a real city.  But get this...

Did you expect to see Amway here?  Dairy Queen and Amway.  I am used to McDonald's and Burger King and Starbucks and such, but Dairy Queen and Amway?  What did Popeye say?  Well blow me down.

On the way to our hotel, we will be visiting a fairly unique Buddhist temple.

Wat Rong Khun is a temple designed by an artist named Chalermchai Kositpipat. Construction began in 1997 and is still going on... and it is not only solid white, which is pretty funky, but he has littered it with Hollywood movie references.

Did you really expect to see the Predator outside a Buddhist and Hindu temple?

So... the temple is white to symbolize purity, while the hands reaching out from the grave and/or hell are silver to symbolize... what?

Proof that we were there.

This picture made the Waste as much for the sky as for the white temple.

Even the pagoda behind the temple is white  By the way, there are mirrors glued to all surfaces, too.

Yours truly with the artist who created this temple.  This temple is disrespectful, bold, irreverent, and ridiculous.   How could you not like it?

Interestingly, the building that houses the toilets is gold.  The temple is white; the toilet is gold.  Interpret that one.

Chiang Rai Motorbike Candid.  July 2011.

I find it fascinating that you basically cannot tell Thai advertising from USA advertising.  One world, people.

Remember the Emerald Buddha made of jade?  Remember how it moved from country to country, and then from city to city within what is today Thailand?

Wat Phra Kaeo in Chiang Rai is reported to be the first temple in Thailand to ever house the Emerald Buddha.  There is also a legend that it was hidden in a pagoda and then an earthquake split open the pagoda to reveal the Emerald Buddha inside.  I think I will classify that story in the myth column.

They have an Emerald Buddha replica sitting in the spot where the real one once sat.  And they let you take pictures here, which means that you get to see what it looks like for yourself!

You also get to see his bhutt.

On the wall is a mural of the Emerald Buddha being transported.  It is alleged to bring good fortune to any kingdom that holds it, which is why king after king took it back to their capital as war treasure whenever possible.

I had to use the rest room.  How do you like the hand washing basin?  Barbie has seen holes in the ground for squatting, but I have not or you would have seen one already.

You cannot beat a golden pagoda.  I love how this one is surrounded by trees.  It makes it look otherworldly.

There is a Buddha Museum here, with Buddha representations from different eras and areas.  I shall share my two favorites.

This standing wooden Buddha had a quality to it that I found more artistic than most.

And this stone carved Buddha also struck me as having particular artistic value.

I also really liked this Ganesha.  Besides the elephant head, he is the Remover of Obstacles and Lord of Beginnings.

This picture of the decal on our bus is specifically included for my friends who are serious fans of 1980's Saturday morning cartoons.  I never saw a single episode of Transformers, but I believe I have friends who felt very strongly about such matters, and I assume said friends would think it is very cool that our bus driver has adorned his vehicle and livelihood with what I am pretty sure is the Deceptacon the Autobot icon.  I apologize if that I got that one wrong, DeStasio Nguyen.

We arrived at the Le Meridien, Chiang Rai.

It is always funny to me to watch the business card dance when the team of travel agents arrive at a hotel.  This trip has made me regret not making up J.E. Howard - Editor, Colossal Waste business cards. Now that the Waste has moved from colossalwaste.blogspot.com to colossalwaste.com, I think I am going to do it.  Heck... the Waste even has a logo now!

Barbie resting with her lemongrass tea at Le Meridien, waiting for the site inspection.  But first, lunch!

Sometimes the bread is worthy of a picture.

Wild mushroom soup.  It was good, but no dairy Barbie got a cream-free version that was basically solid mushroom and it was even better.

Seared chicken breast with roasted pumpin.  The chunks of roasted pumpkin under the chicken was to die for.

For dessert, fruit salpicon and roseseller sherbet.  Nothing beats a desserts of diced up fresh fruit and sherbet.  It tastes great and you get to pretend you have been healthy.

The hotel's general manager gives his little talk before handing the actual tour over to his people.

This entire hotel is buit around two rain trees that are around 135 years old.

After walking around the hotel for an hour, looking at the restaurants, spa, and a variety of rooms, somebody thought it best to lay down on the chaise in the lobby while the travel agents continued on to see more.  In case anyone thinks the work on these trips is not work, I will make you walk around a hotel for an hour on a humid 90℉/32℃ day and see how you like it.

After Le Meridien, we are to be taken to see the hill tribes.  Apparently nearby they have a village where several tribes can be visited.  This includes the long neck tribe.

People working in a rice field.  This is not easy work.

We were greeted by a little black puppy at the hill tribe village.  Too damn cute, she was.

So... the hill tribe people were of various backgrounds, each gathered in their own part of the village.  The village is designed for you to walk a circuit through them, and along this walk you are meant to buy things from them.  It is basically like visiting street vendors in their homes, so that they can sell you things while standing in their living rooms.

Can you tell I did not like it?  As you might recall from my various comments through Europe, I have a difficult time with professional begging.  Whether a beggar is wearing a silver suit with silver makeup on his face and imitating a robot, or playing violin on the street, or blowing massive soap bubbles in a public square, they are still begging.

These hill tribes wanted us to buy stuff, and they would also sing their traditional tribal songs and then ask for donations.  They wear their original tribal garb so that we believe they are the real thing, and then you look behind them and there are men in Nike shorts and Adidas tank tops.  In theory this is no different than buying trinkets in a shop, but the shopkeeper rarely lies to you about who he is to trigger your White guilt and get you to buy a post card.

But the hill tribes do have one angle that is hard to fight.

Their children.  It is alleged that female babies born on a full moon on a Wednesday get the honor of the neck coil that stretches out their neck.  They put the coil on around when the girl is five and she wears an increasingly longer brass coil for the rest of her life.  No, this is not a thousand percent reprehensible like female circumcision.  But there is no way you can look at this and think it is just their way.  Yes, I am judging another culture's custom harshly.  If I heard that they made the practice illegal, or if young women could choose to stretch their necks starting around 16, I would be able to handle this.

Ugh.  Okay.  New topic.

We came prepared... with treats!

And that video sums that up.  Shall we move on?

So... while the people in this village do their best to appear like old school, original flavor hill tribe people, if you look closely you can see their powerlines.

They allow us to see the TV and electricity in the daycare area.  I assume they allow this corner of modernity in the village because people are going to give money at the day care center no matter what.  I mean... children are cute.

 Give.

In that hut, a hill tribe girl taps on her BlackBerry.

Texting on her BlackBerry while our backs are turned?  Hilarious.  I tried to get closer and she hid it from me, but I could still see her Cherry Red BlackBerry sticking out from under her leg.

These people have a right to run their business and make money, and spend that money on smart phones and whatever else they want.  And I have the right to think that the whole hill tribe people sauce that they are selling is little more than an angle to get tourists to spend money.  I cannot explain exactly why I mind being BS'd, but I do.

A hill tribe girl returning from a day at school on her fairly nice, fairly new motorbike.

The fact that they have their own Toyota SUV with their web address on the back is another detail that they do not want you to notice.

Alas, we left the hill tribe village and if I have my way we will not visit another.

Okay.  Time for me to take it down a notch.  If you want the whole story, I literally just buzzed my head and showered, all the while thinking about this Waste post.  And based on the girl returning from school on her scooter and other things I saw, these Hill Tribes are basically an impoverished older generation running a business so that their children and grandchildren can live better lives.  I think most Americans would identify with that.  Allow me to say, again, that I understand why they are running this village that is a slight step away from professionally begging, and even if I do not like it, it is likely the smartest thing for these people to do and the best thing they can do for their children.

Except the long neck girls.  I cannot condone taking a five year old girl and manipulating her body like that.  It would be like giving a five year old a breast enlargement, and you cannot defend that.

These school girls on their way home saw us and gave us peace signs.  One looked at me and I gave her a thumbs up, and she smiled and gave me back a thumbs up.  After the hill tribe experience, receiving a sincere thumbs up from a smiling student was a welcome breath of fresh air.

Our bus wound its way to the Anantara, our accommodations for two nights.

When we arrived we were greeted with the standard cold towels and lemongrass tea, but also with a mango treat.

Barbie getting her mango treat.

In our room, we are greeted by another elephant towel.

Our view of le poole.  After waking up before sunrise, flying across the country of Thailand, getting on a bus and being taken through the heat to white temples and hotel inspections and hill tribe cons,  I need to be in that pool.

Ah.  Honestly, part of me was shocked that we were the only ones who went from bus to pool.  A nice, cool pool refreshes the body far better than a shower.

And when that pool has a massaging bubble deck?  Heavennnn.

After cleaning up and getting ready for dinner, we met in the lobby.  Apparently we are not eating in the hotel, as we climbed into a van not knowing where we were headed.

In case you cannot read their expressions, they say, "Hello, and welcome to the Anantara Hotel and Spa.  We are the hotel's own elephants and we hope that you enjoy your dinner.  Now... give us a banana."

While the elephants were in front of us, these cows were behind us.  They got completely ignored.  When there are elephants around, everything else tends to be ignored.  I think it is part of the whole planet's largest land animal thing.

Barbie again gets different yet slightly better soup due to her no dairy requirement.

Barbie was served Winter Pumpkin Soup.  It was delicious.

I was served the French beef consommé; Clear beef broth French style with tortellini and julienne vegetable.  Good, but the pumpkin soup kicked its bhutt.

Barbie got the Roasted Beef Tenderloin; Slow roasted bacon wrap fillet of beef tenderloin with sautéed skin on potatoes wedge and vegetables accompanied with green pepper corn jus.

I got the Grilled fresh herb rub fillet of salmon fish and black pepper with mashed potatoes, leek served with saffron jus.  (It is easy to tell when I take a picture of the menu, is it not?)

The best was saved for last; Crepe & Berries Ices; Crepe filled with vanilla cream and orange syrupe with berry ice cream.

After dinner came the following surprise...

That might be the nicest way to finish a meal.

Yours truly, trying to upload eighty something pictures for the Waste at dial-up speed.  I literally let it run all night with the MacBook Air on Caffeine.  (Caffeine is a program that when activated keeps your computer from going to sleep.)  This awful internet speed is going to pur the Waste behind a few days.  bear with me, people.

Until tomorrow...